Welcome to my small piece of the internet! For years, I pondered the idea of starting a blog, mostly for the purpose of jotting my thoughts in a place I could revisit them. But in the back of my mind, I always wondered, Would anyone really want to read that?
But in August of 2018, I learned that I had an aggressive ovarian cancer–clear cell carcinoma. Thankfully, I was diagnosed at stage 1C3, but that didn’t keep the doctor’s words from bowling me over. There were tears and worries and lots of questions for God, whom I now saw with greater understanding. (Stay tuned for a post about that!)
Within two days, I had realized a few things.
First, I needed to separate what was rightly mine to control from what I needed to relinquish, to admit that I wasn’t strong enough to change certain things. I needed to understand that God loves me and is working for my good, or fighting cancer would be an insurmountable goal. (What that good actually is, is something I’d like to write about in the future.)
Second, I realized that, in a single moment, my ministry to others grew by leaps and bounds. I now have a new sort of compassion for those with cancer, as well as a new desire to do what I can to make their time in treatment a little better . . . to comfort them with the comfort I have received (2 Cor. 1:3-4). I’ll chronicle what this ministry becomes in the coming months.
Third, the people around me would be watching how I responded to such a challenging season. I say this not to be arrogant; don’t we all observe those around us? As a middle school teacher, I was acutely aware that there were dozens of eyes on me, every moment of the day. Everything I did taught something to my students, so it behooved me to insure that I was teaching something good and true! I never did that perfectly, of course, but I believe that the same applies here, and that’s partly why I’m carving out this small piece of the online community to write.
It is my deepest hope that, as I sit at my desk, writing and drinking tea and nibbling shortbread, God will put my words into the hands of someone who is in the dark valley of cancer (or anyone fighting to see hope, really) . . .. that He will encourage them through my own struggle, and that they will continue in the battle with strength and courage. I pray that He’ll use this to help those who haven’t been touched by cancer to better understand the struggle and to grow in compassion.
But I don’t just want to talk about cancer, because cancer is not my identity.
I am a daughter, a sister, a wife, a friend, and–most importantly–a child of God in Christ. This season of slowing down (because chemo demanded it!) has allowed me to ponder new things in each of these roles. I hope to write about those things, too. And because I love to read, it’s likely a few book reviews will make their way to this page.
Thanks for dropping by Always Anchored today. Jesus truly is the sure and steady Anchor of the soul (Heb. 6:19). May this page (and my words) be to His glory.